odd ramblings of a sleepy person

I want to go to bed...I am pretty tired...but I got this candle warmer today, and the candle that's in it is only half melted and the top started bubbling up funny so I was playing with it and poking it with a pen and now it looks weird and it's gonna bug me unless I let it melt so the pen marks go away.
Soo here I sit, wasting more time.
Meh.
Life is pretty mundane.
I've got pretty much every last bit of shopping done, besides dorm food.
I went to Kohl's again in hopes of finding jeans. No luck there. *But* I scoured the clearance racks and found three shirts, two for $6 and one for $9, all originally around $20 apiece. wOOt!!
They're all really cute, too.
I saw Fargo today. My dad got me the movie for Christmas. It was pretty much amazing. I love it. And I want the soundtrack!!
Nothing else really happened.
So Sarah and I have been IMing for a couple of hours before bed pretty much every night this week...and my AIM keeps conversations after you log off, as long as you don't shut your computer, so everything we've said since Wednesday was on there and tonight I got curious and decided to copy paste it to word to see how many pages it takes up...
23
And after we talked tonight, somewhere around 28.
LOL!
It's funny 'cause when you go back and actually read it, we really weren't talking about anything.
Gosh...it's been fifteen minutes and almost no candle progress...
And I'm tired.
Screw it.
It'll bug me for now, but I'm melting that things right when I wake up.
Good night!!!

*miss almost, miss maybe, miss halfway*

I've been thinking
And searching,
Trying to find...
things about myself.
The things I'm used to
And stuff I didn't know was there before.
Discovering things
Thoughts, views, notions
That I used to supress
Are really still a part of me and what I do, and no matter how
.:insignificant:.
they may seem,
They still affect things.
Trying to learn something
*~how not to act~*
What not to say
What should remain in my mind, what should be seen
And realizing that hiding behind my own insecurities,
my own doubt,
Was,
and is,
really just hiding myself.
And knowing that if I just take a deep breath and say what I'm thinking...
I can be seen as who I am.
Which isn't as bad as it used to be.
If I want to be *known*
If I want to be *truthful*
and *honest*
That's how I want to be viewed...
[[hiding]] isn't an option.
It's better to bare everything
And not be accepted
Than to hide
And be loved for who I'm really not.
I'm an odd bird.
I have strange quirks. And my own views on everything.
I make mistakes **often**
And have strange thoughts
Odd comments
Things I think are funny until they're said
>>>>>I'm not perfect<<<<<<
I sing my own song
And while I've heard similar notes within the songs of others recently,
~Nothing matches my melody note for note~
I dance my own dance
And in the colorguard of life,
I spin my own sparkly pink flag
In a sea of black and white.
Here is my fingerprint
Final and complete
Nothing hidden,
Everything's there
This is *who I am*
.....Take me or leave me.
[[there is no in between]]

shop til you drop is literal.

I'm officially, entirely and completely done with working at dunkin.
I went in to tell the manager today. She didn't even care. Didn't want to know why. Nothing. Just nodded and half smiled.
Then the shopping...
:D
Kristina and I have defined shop until you drop. I came pretty close to the dropping bit in the last store.
It was awesome.
I'm also officially the most difficult person to shop for jeans for.
Three different stores. American Eagle, Hollister, and...oh goodness...I think PacSun.
One pair in PacSun was passable. But they were $36, and they weren't the best fit ever, I have cheaper pairs that I like more.
*goodness*
But the best purchase of the day was by far at Hollister. I found this hoody that seriously feels softer than fleece...but it's not, it's normal hoody material. I love it to no end! If only that store weren't so expensive and awful to be in, my whole wardrobe (shirts at least, not jeans) would be from there.
I'm looking forward to sleep at this point. I'm not freaked out about anything tomorrow, nothing is going on, no faking illness to miss work and then having to talk to a mother about quitting, then having to go in and quit...I have nothing to be up for, nowhere to be, and I couldn't be more excited. Clear schedule... :D
The other happy point was finding a new favorite outfit...I wore this brown sweater I found on clearance at Kohl's that has just the right amount of bulk to it with a light pink cami underneath and my new Glo jeans...my curve jeans, as I like to think of them (they really make it look like I've got something there...). I love finding really cute stuff that fits really well but doesn't make me look so tiny and frail.
I've previously stated my pondering of my parent's recent expences, with the lack of belt tightening and all...yeah I don't look at it that way anymore. Not at ALL.
My aunt and uncle, who are a couple of years older than my parents, just ordered a new computer.
Well...just recieved, they didn't want anyone to find out, as they'd know all of our reactions.
The one they have is less than a year older than the one *we* have, which just turned three. My cousin's husband has been tweaking it to perfection for the past year.
*Ours* has survived my last two and a half years of high school, plus everything my brother's done school wise and he's in the sixth grade, *and* all of everyone's general goofing around, and it's nowhere near needing replacement. There's has been through less, they only goof off on it-all three of their kids are completely done with school and moved out an niether of them do any work on it.
And the other stuff they've done...they used up a portion of their retirement fund, a *good* portion, to redo the kitchen. And are planning on changing the flooring. And knocking out a wall. But they're not calling a carpenter, they're doing that on their own...and it *could* be a weight bearing wall and everything...*shakes head*
They're putting sooooooo much into fixing up their house when they've been openly stating their desire to move for I don't even know how long. And it's not going to increase the selling value by much due to where they live.
It just irks me when people are that careless.
And that's how close my family is...when I know a lot of detail regarding my aunt and uncle's finances... :P
The mistake of one person within this gene pool affects everyone else. No matter how large the mistake.
Anyhoo...
Oh...excitement, MASSIVE excitement!!
Kristina's really looking at Wartburg.
And really really really wants to visit.
So we're trying to work it out where she'd come back with me when this break is over and stay for a night or two, depending.
Go to some classes. Maybe stay in my dorm. And most definetly come to band practice!!! (she plays the flute :D) And meet people, of course.
I'm really excited for the visiting :D
It will be awesome.
And...yeah...I think that's about all I have to say.

Greatly disturbed from here on out...

My mom just pointed something out to me in the newspaper today...
Oh gross.
I had this band director in the fifth grade, Mr. Franzen...
He just got arrested/charged with child pornography.
They found files of that gross, disgusting....blah on his computer.
The age range?
11-14.
I was 11 when he was my band director.
*And* he has three daughters.
EEEEEWWWWWWW!!!
nastynastynastynasty.
*blech*

mundane days

I survived my first full day of work since August. No major mistakes, and I actually remembered how to do some stuff.
I got to see my Noni today for a few hours, and it was happy. We brought them some manicotti, as we made waaay too many for ourselves, and they enjoyed it greatly. :D
Also, I started realizing how slow my computer's been getting, and when I glanced at my pictures I realized how many there were...somewhere over one thousand...so I started deleting the millions that I don't particularly care for. 200 are gone now. And I'm still nowhere near done. *This* is gonna take a while...but I'll be happy when I've completed it. Now to delete them from my camera, too...
Hmmm...
Oh, Kristina and I are shopping on Friday and I couldn't be more excited! My first mall trip since August. *And* my first Ulta trip since July, I think. YAY!!!
I've been talking to Sarah via IM for quite some time now, and she's working on this gift for a friend of hers which involves plenty of quotes...she sent me some...and I greatly enjoy them, my favorite being
"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup"
LOL!
*And* we've been discussing the possibility of seeing Beauty and the Beast on Broadway...
I would die. That's my all time favorite Disney movie, *and* one of the actors from my soap is in it. Exciting!!!
Yup. Just another day in the life of a Rachel.
It may not be exciting...
But it happened.
;)

meh.

So I was at work for an entire half hour today. Got sent home because of some scheduling issues. I'm still not sure exactly how that worked out, but ok.
I'm working 6am-12 every day this week and then 8-4 on Saturday.
26 hours over four days.
It'll be money, at least.
But I do think I want another job. If anyone wants to hire me. Drive thrus are evil and I don't care for working with food (people are SO RUDE if you make even the slightest of mistakes!!).
Not only that, I only want around twenty hours a week, and when I went to talk to the manager about this, she was immensly confused.
...it's only part time...
Anyhoo.
I did get to go shopping a little today.
AAAARRRRRGH.
An entire HOUR AND A HALF looking for only ONE pair of jeans at Kohls.
Did I find them?
NO!!!! Not one stinking pair that I tried on fit...there were almost no jeans left within my size range.
It's hard to be as happy as I was with my size say, last week, after *that.*
:P
So I did some therapy shopping at Target...found some black ballet flats to replace the two pairs that I have (I've worn them so much, they're literally falling apart) and some pajama pants.
And I did find an adorable brown sweater at Kohl's. So besides the jeans bit, it was a rather productive shopping day.
I've been listening to my Grey's CD all day.
And I just love it more and more.
It's allowed me to think. Just the right kind of music, and since I don't know the words to these songs yet, I can't sing along in the car right now, so to replace the silence of my "wonderful" singing voice was a head full of thoughts.
I'm kind of trying to figure out exactly who I am.
There was one line I caught in one of the songs, I don't remember it now, but it launched that train of thought.
This is probably going to end up being just a loooong list of rambles, but I need to get it out of my head somehow...so pensieve time.
There's a bit I don't like.
But there's good in there, somewhere, as well.
Evidently my quirks and eccentricities are part of the good...but how do you define your own quirks? Most everything I do seems normal to me. Unless I compare it to what *other* people are doing.
I seem to have a fear of failure. After some thought, I think that was why I was so apprehensive about work today...I was afraid I'd screw something up big time or forget what I was doing.
Which kind of did happen, my manager asked me to refill one of the refridgerators and "date and wrap the meat" before running off somewhere. A minute or so after that I was sent home, so I ended up doing nothing, but I'm still not sure as to what to do regarding that.
I am passionate about a few things, and I am a strong believer in the "live and let live" idea. I really don't think it's right for the views of one group overshadow the views of another, which is a huge part of the pro choice and pro stem cell research thing...my mindset is, if you don't like/agree with it, just don't get involved with it and let those who *do* agree get as involved as they wish.
I'm not much of TV watcher and am greatly irked by the fact that there are more TVs than people in my home. To replace the TV I *did* watch, I've been increasing my online time, which I'm trying to cut down now.
I'm also a lot different than the rest of my family. I'm the only one who's anywhere near complete vegetarian, the only science and band nerd, among other things.
I'm truly a cat person. I'm not a big fan of dogs at all.
I like bright and happy things, and don't particularly care for being around others who aren't in a very good mood, though I tend to be rather moody myself.
I overanalyze. And it drives me nuts.
Also, due to the analyzation, I have the tendency to not trust new friends a whole lot. I cannot stand how I do that at all, it's very random as to who I'm not trusting, and it takes either a LONG time or being around that person a lot for it to go away.
Just a quick aside...for those of you who have endured that type of overanalyzation/lack of sheer trust from me, and you know who you are (if I've ever made odd statements about what I've been doing, coming out and asking if you really want to do things with me, just general odd things that usually end up causing awkward moments or are just conversation killers), I am very sorry. I shouldn't be thinking that way, there's no reason for it. I don't know why I do this, and I'm trying as hard as I can to fix it, but I don't know how long it will take.
Last bit of this really not so brief aside...Sarah, I think I've done this to you more than anyone else in recent memory. Lo siento, muy, muy siento. No...that's more of an excusa me. Maybe? Ack. I'll just stick with English. I'm really *really* sorry...I do not have a reason to be doing that at all. Period. I look back of some of the things I've said that fit into this category...and I feel like hiding under a rock...one of those "I didn't just say that...no that didn't come out of my mouth" moments. Well, several of them. You've given me no reason to be doing this. And it angers me that I've been like that towards you...I don't want to end up pushing you away. So, I'm trying to quit doing that with you more than anyone else. Again, I don't know how long it's going to take me, but I'm starting with keeping my mouth *shut.* <3
Back to my pensieve.
I'm also too hard on myself. This one I don't think I'll ever fix...the first time I was called on this was in the sixth grade, and I haven't changed. While my family is convinced that the 2.8 I got first term is good, I don't think I'll ever be able to accept it. My lowest GPA in highschool was a 3.4, and I graduated with a 4.3. 2.8 is for now, and will always be, unacceptable...I don't understand why my parents/family thinks it's *good.*
There's two negatives in a row...now for a positive...
Well...I do love helping others. I'm a good listener, occasionally good with advice.
Music is a huge part of my life and always will be.
I saw a busload of bandos headed for Texas today for the bowl game...and I was momentarily choked up. I don't think I'll ever accept the notion that I won't be marching again, and I'll always miss MK.
I'm also passionate when it comes to science...it's my other love.
I'm mostly OK with being single. There are lonely moments, I don't know of anyone who never gets them, but I'm trying to suppress them and am generally sucessful. When a guy comes along, he will, but I'm not spending time thinking "what if..." There's other things on my mind right now.
Harry Potter is my life, I've never been so obsessed with anything, and highly doubt I'll find something I love more.
That's kind of a fingerprint of me, where I'm at right now. There's things missing, and things I'm not sure about, and that's what I'm trying to figure out right now...
Off finding myself.

arrrrrrrgh...

I do NOT want to go to work.
Not at all.
I don't wanna.
It's not just laze, not just the urge to sit around all day, it's more of a sick dread.
Like going to get the results of a test you know you bombed that will kill your grade.
I've never not wanted to more.
And I don't know why I'm like this today. I really don't have a reason to be. I just am.
I didn't get to shop this morning, either, 'cause I couldn't fall asleep until two despite being in bed by 12, and thus couldn't wake up at 6 and be functioning enough for shopping and a seven hour shift.
:P
...off to eat and shower and gather my knitting for when I go on break...
i don't wanna i don't wanna i don't wanna i don't wanna i don't wanna i don't wanna i don't wanna i don't wanna....

A recap of sorts

Christmas Eve was awesome.
I finally got so see everyone. And my five month old cousin! :D
He's adorable. And the fuzzy blue hat I knitted for him is *adorable* on him.
Food was good.
Today...not too shabby.
I had to run to work *twice.* The manager was "busy" AGAIN at nine.
I don't know when you're busy...if you had just told me a certain time in the first place, it would have saved each of us plenty of time.
:P
Started getting my schedule worked out.
I get 12-7 tomorrow.
...joy.
I don't know how much else I'll be working, but she had a chart she was using to figure out work times, and everyone else had maybe one day off/week and four to five hour shifts all other six days.
...I am NOT working that much...I hope she doesn't put me down for that much, because if that is the case, I *am* saying something. It's only a part time job. 20 hours a week at the most. No more.
Anyhoo.
Gifting was pretty sweet.
I got a good Christmas CD, another Coldplay X&Y to replace the one I wore out (I'm making copies, just in case), and the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack, which I will admit it *is* odd music, but knowing the show, I love it.
Annd...the movies DaVinci Code and Fargo, extra batteries for my camera, Pirates of the Carribean posters, and a Harry Potter desktop calendar.
And some spending money, I'm hitting the doorbusters hard tomorrow. wOOt!
Dinner was amazing...homemade manicotti, which are giant mostocholli noodles filled with riccotta and covered with marinara and all that goodness. Oh, it was happy, my first homemade Italian feast since Easter. Hooray for leftovers!!
My Grandma was interesting today...to say the least.
I really, *really* don't care for her.
Yes...sounds mean...but...
She's not very nice. On the surface, maybe, but once you get to know her, no.
I'm really the only one in the family she likes. She's not happy with my dad 'cause he's a truck driver and didn't go to college/start a business like the rest of his family, who are all snobs out in cali. Never liked my mom, exclaimed in public numerous times the wedding wasn't going to happen, she wouldn't allow it (30 years later...that did a lot of good), and dislikes my brother since he takes after my mom's side of the family in appearance.
*But* she adores me. I'm like a princess (gags). She's not so obvious about it now, at least not towards my brother, as he's old enough to notice, but oh the favoritism she played on my part when he was too young to understand.
So today wasn't allll that bad...gifts were even between everyone, which is rare. Usually mine is considerably larger than everyone else's. She just blabs on and on and on about goodness knows what, her ailments (which she's 86, there's enough to fill a book when she starts talking), the ailments of her nieghbor's grandson's cousin's daughter (and no, that was NOT an exaggeration), and complaints in general.
That was rantish....
It was a very happy Christmas. Despite the work and grandmother bit.
And now...energy is draining, as my brother still insists on bein awake at 6 am to open gifts, and my nap as severely interrupted because I had to go to work quickly so...
Merry Christmas!!!

AAAAARRRRRRGH

Stupid work.
I called Dunkin Donuts last night to try and get my schedule. The guy I was talking to said I wasn't on there.
Sooo I had to get up this morning to call and talk to one of the managers.
After I got done explaining everything, she goes "well, I'm very busy right now, so come in tomorrow morning" and hung up.
So, tomorrow morning, CHRISTMAS morning might I add, I have to go to work and talk to people.
:P :P :P
Ack.
I don't wanna!!!!
Grrrrrrr.
In other news...it's finally Christmas Eve!!
Excitement!!!
:D :D :D
Oh happy day...

thoughts

I'm in this fixing stage right now.
Where I'm discovering the more negative aspects of things I've been doing, and instead of just thinking "well, no one's perfect..." I'm doing something about it.
How long this will take, I don't know, but it hasn't been going anywhere lately. I've just been reminding myself of what I've been trying to change more and more.
NO. MORE. OVERANALYZING.
Not about others. Not about my own actions.
No more.
That is one of my worst aspects.
I just think sooo ridicuously far into things and warp them out of proportion to the point of ridiculousness.
It has bitten me in the butt sooo much.
So, I'm trying. Really freaking hard. This part will take a while. But it's going to change, darn it, even if it takes all of my effort right now.
Along with that comes a few other aspects, ones that I'm beginning to believe are somehow affecting or causing the over analyzation.
TRUST PEOPLE. Seriously. Old friends, I'm more than trustworthy with them. Newer ones...it's an uphill battle. And I think it comes from my insecurities, which trace back to elementary school and couldn't tell a friend from foe except for one lone person.
People like me. And they want to be around me. They would let me know otherwise.
I just need to TRUST that.
So no more questioning...the whole "I'm not too quiet, am I? You do want to be around me?" deal is over with. IF THEY DIDN'T WANT TO BE THERE OR DO THINGS WITH ME THEY WOULDN'T BE THERE OR ASK ME TO DO THINGS WITH THEM.
Now to just accept that...quit questioning, because I don't need to be.
*heehee...interjection...my dad is watching a Bulls game downstairs, and they STILL have the exact same intro music as they did when I used to watch them when I was nine...heehee*
Anyway.
And I need to quit being so self concious.
Besides these traits listed here, I am fine as I am.
Things to change. That are being changed. That eventually will exist only as a memory of what I once did.
I am determined...

wOOt

People were pretty much on and off of AIM.
So, technically, it was a very socail night :D
I talked to everyone from Wartburg and some people from home, too.
Not too shabby.
Now I think I'm gonna force myself to sleep....I've been purposely keeping myself up to talk to people, and now I'm officially past the point of functioning, so....
good night!

lalala..

Boring, boring night.
My mom's out with some friends til probably well after midnight. My brother's spending the night at a friend's house, so it's just my dad and I, and he's in his room watching some movie...I think it's one of the Terminators or something violent with Arnold i-can't-spell-his-last-name.
So...
yeah...
I'm left to my own devices again.
Which isn't altogether bad, but...it does tend to get dull.
So yeah.
Last night was a most wonderful sleepover with Rachel and Sandy. We spend a majority of the time conspiring over what may come in book seven, hence the previous posting and facebook album.
It was great.
I found my leftover senior pictures and made them my myspace profile picture. Holy cow my hair was LONG. You can't even see where it ends, it goes off of the picture.
I kind of miss it. When it was dry, it was very toasty...all I had to do was shrug my shoulders and it covered me.
But I do like it now. Long is difficult when it's cold 'cause it takes so stinking long to dry.
I've been curious as to whether or not my bathroom scale is accurate...tempted to retry and see if I get a different number...but I don't want to. I don't wanna know, 'cause if it does show up as less for some odd reason, I'll be angered beyond all reasonable belief.
My room feels like a fridge. It is so unbelievably cold in here. I think it's because my window has this huge crack in it. That still has yet to be fixed and has been there for a couple of years now.
I'm tired of my current mood...overly tired and plain moody.
Blah.
Stupid hormones.
So...that's life right now...
It's another I miss Wartburg people night.
The good thing is, quite a few of them are online.
Hint...quite a few...
In other words....
SARAH!!!! I'm finally around and not distracted at all and able to IM people without feeling like I have to leave soon or I'd only be paying half attention to them...and you're not here!! Or..online..hmm...
I MISS YOU!!!!! :(
Any hoo...
Well, by quite a few, I really meant two (chelsea and melissa), and Melissa just ran off. Two, one at the moment, of the four. So half. Or one quarter, depending on how you look at it.
The four being, of course, Melissa, Chelsea, Larisa, and Sarah. (meaning the four that I really miss).
Well, I lied. Chelsea just ran off.
AND my seemingly never ending box of Triscuits just ran out.
Oh poop.
K. So now it's back to just a plain boring night with no distractions.
Geez...what is it with me lately...I've suddenly equated boring with no one being there...I used to not care and bask in the me time. Now it's just a pain in the butt.
And I really freaking feel like IMing...I usually don't...
grrrrrrrr.
I feel like playing my piccolo. Unfortunately, my dad is officially sleeping.
Well, this is going nowhere...I can't seem to keep a steady train of thought, so I'll just kill this before it kills itself. 'Cause it's definetly close to doing so.

Spotlight theories

Found through mugglenet. Some of them. And...fourth HP post today, I know...
Hallows is a place where spirits supposedly dwell. My theory is this is where Harry has the final showdown with Voldy, RAB may get a horcrux or kill Voldy prematurely or something and he'd merely be a soul. Or he comes back as a spirit and won't leave Harry alone.
*or* Hallows refers to Halloween (all hallows eve) where something will happen. Also, Harry's parents were killed this day.
*or* Hallows means something sacred or saintly. The founders of Hogwarts may be considered close to saintlyhood to Hogwarts/wizards, and their Horcruxes are the last that need to be found. *So* it could mean the founders' horcruxes (if taken from the saintly POV) or just horcruxes in general (revered objects POV).
*or* Hallows *is* the spirit dwelling, and that's where Harry has to go to get Sirius back (because we all know he's not dead), and he has a meeting with Voldy there.
*MY idea again* Maybe Sirius has inferi or an army of Voldy opposers in the hollow with him, so Harry lures Voldy down there and instead of it just being Harry, maybe the inferi/spirits/Sirius would be distractors to the death eaters so Harry can give Voldy his full attention. [EDIT] perhaps those two way mirrors, which JK said were making another appearance, maybe Harry can use them with Sirius to communicate while he is in this "hallow" and Sirius can build up an army of spirits to oppose Voldy, then the two of them lure Voldy, and the spirit army keeps the death eaters occupied so Harry has Voldy with no interruptions.
More...
Harry and Voldemort can't duel (identical wand cores). How can Harry kill him??
This comes from Melissa. What if RAB, Regulus A. Black, when he went to get the locket horcrux took Kreacher with him in the boat since he wouldn't register as magical, so Kreacher knows exactly what happens...
*And* the locket that was found at the beginning of OOTP more than likely was the horcrux. They were cleaning out Grimmauld Place, and no one could open the thing.
Dumbledore's pensieve and portrait; the portrait could talk, and he could have left crucial bits of info in the pensieve Harry can look at.
What's with Petunia? What did Dumbledore mean with "remember my last" exactly? What's Snapes boggart-JK said that's important. What's with the giant squid-will it ever do anything? How about Grawp? How accurate can the centuar's star gazing be? Will Crookshanks amount to anything more? What does Dumbledore see in Erised/what's his boggart--JK REFUSED TO ANSWER *THOSE* QUESTIONS. Is there any more to Figg? Is there importance to Ginny being the only *female* Weasley for several generations?
JK SAID WHEN THE SORTING HAT TALKS ON ITS OWN IT COMES FROM THE OWNERS THEMSELVES.
*THAT* could be a major clue for SO many things...finding the horcruxes.
AND WITH THE MIRRORS, MAYBE RAB HAS ONE--HE IS SIRIUS'S BROTHER---JK ELUDED THIS IN AN INTERVIEW. MAYBE HE AND HARRY CAN COMMUNICATE....AAAHHH!!!!! And find the horcruxes...perhaps?
And I quote from JK: "you will know so much more on Dumbledore..."
:D :D :D
And, just to put this somewhere that's dated, due to some analyzing, Sandy, Rachel and I think that the book will have the title in red over a grayish/black misty background.
Picture it...picture it...chilling, huh??
As I think of more, I'll update. wOOt!!!

conversation number two

This is Sandy and I freaking out. The IMs that are blank were smileys. I'm not typing them all in...
BeatleKnight (12:08:19 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHH
ginny587 (12:08:40 PM):
ginny587 (12:08:45 PM): is this sandy or jenny?
BeatleKnight (12:10:38 PM): I CANT BELIEVE IT
BeatleKnight (12:10:44 PM): IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOREVER
ginny587 (12:10:49 PM): I KNOW
ginny587 (12:10:52 PM): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
HHHHHH
BeatleKnight (12:10:48 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHHH
ginny587 (12:11:00 PM): TITLE TITLE TITLE
BeatleKnight (12:10:56 PM): ITS SANDY
BeatleKnight (12:10:58 PM): LOL
ginny587 (12:11:05 PM): OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
ginny587 (12:11:08 PM): OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
ginny587 (12:11:11 PM): OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOM
ginny587 (12:11:14 PM): *OMG
BeatleKnight (12:11:15 PM): OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOGM
BeatleKnight (12:11:18 PM): OMGOMGOMGOMG
BeatleKnight (12:11:19 PM): REYHTwrtjrgmnef
BeatleKnight (12:11:19 PM): rg
BeatleKnight (12:11:20 PM): hjhebfDqjuhrBFh
BeatleKnight (12:11:20 PM): rwfB
BeatleKnight (12:11:21 PM): hrwnjq4
BeatleKnight (12:11:22 PM): NGDjateDTHnf
BeatleKnight (12:11:22 PM): hvRWSFh
BeatleKnight (12:11:22 PM): QUTR
BeatleKnight (12:11:22 PM): BFh
ginny587 (12:11:33 PM):
ginny587 (12:11:38 PM):
BeatleKnight (12:11:41 PM):
ginny587 (12:11:50 PM): and this is the PERFECT day for this too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ginny587 (12:12:02 PM): whoa...smiling darth vaders..that's creepy
ginny587 (12:12:09 PM): and HARRY POTTER!!!!
BeatleKnight (12:12:37 PM): IT IS
BeatleKnight (12:12:39 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:12:40 PM): OMG
ginny587 (12:12:57 PM):
ginny587 (12:13:05 PM): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ginny587 (12:13:33 PM): it's soo perfect...and creepy...and foreboding...
ginny587 (12:13:38 PM): deathly hallows...
ginny587 (12:13:41 PM):
BeatleKnight (12:14:05 PM): omg i know
BeatleKnight (12:14:08 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHH
BeatleKnight (12:14:10 PM): aAHHHH
ginny587 (12:14:16 PM):
BeatleKnight (12:14:12 PM): AHHH
BeatleKnight (12:14:15 PM): IT IS PERFECT
BeatleKnight (12:14:18 PM):
ginny587 (12:14:23 PM): I KNOW!!!
BeatleKnight (12:14:19 PM):
BeatleKnight (12:14:27 PM): did u tell your mommy?
ginny587 (12:14:34 PM): yup
BeatleKnight (12:14:36 PM): lol me too
ginny587 (12:14:41 PM): she was slightly interested
ginny587 (12:14:44 PM): nothing more
ginny587 (12:14:46 PM): how about yours?
BeatleKnight (12:14:48 PM): not freakng out like us
BeatleKnight (12:14:50 PM): yeah same here
ginny587 (12:14:56 PM): lol
ginny587 (12:15:11 PM): even melissa was scared of me and we were only IMing
BeatleKnight (12:15:10 PM): lol
*then I copy pasted my conversation with melissa, which is in my previous post*
ginny587 (12:20:12 PM): i like how she was actually saying stuff and i was just freaking out
BeatleKnight (12:20:20 PM): lmao
BeatleKnight (12:20:33 PM): did you literally scream when she told you?
ginny587 (12:20:43 PM): yup
BeatleKnight (12:20:42 PM): of course thats a dumb ?
ginny587 (12:20:50 PM): lol
BeatleKnight (12:20:54 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:20:56 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:20:57 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:20:58 PM): OMG
ginny587 (12:21:03 PM): I KNOW!!
BeatleKnight (12:22:46 PM): ITS LIKE THE PERFECT XMAS PRESENT
ginny587 (12:22:59 PM): I KNOW
BeatleKnight (12:22:55 PM):
ginny587 (12:23:07 PM):
BeatleKnight (12:23:14 PM):
ginny587 (12:23:42 PM): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BeatleKnight (12:24:30 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BeatleKnight (12:25:18 PM): OMG THIS PERSON MADE A COMMENT LIKE "HALLOWS ARE PLACES WHERE SPIRITS ARE SUPPOSED TO DWELL"" ....lol i didnt know what hallows meant
BeatleKnight (12:25:21 PM): did u
ginny587 (12:25:31 PM): no
ginny587 (12:25:34 PM): HOLY CRAP
BeatleKnight (12:25:40 PM): asj;gyulyhf
ginny587 (12:25:49 PM): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
BeatleKnight (12:25:58 PM): ashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfcukyf.
BeatleKnight (12:26:02 PM): hehe fcuk
BeatleKnight (12:26:26 PM): omg what spirits
BeatleKnight (12:26:29 PM): >????
BeatleKnight (12:26:32 PM): wow.........
BeatleKnight (12:26:33 PM): omg
BeatleKnight (12:27:27 PM): omg
BeatleKnight (12:27:27 PM): omg
BeatleKnight (12:27:28 PM): omg
ginny587 (12:27:45 PM): lol
ginny587 (12:27:50 PM): lol
ginny587 (12:28:03 PM): ;D
ginny587 (12:28:07 PM): *
BeatleKnight (12:28:13 PM): lol correcting a smiley
ginny587 (12:28:23 PM): voldy's spirit? after the last horcrux???
ginny587 (12:28:34 PM): *look of shock*
ginny587 (12:28:39 PM): maybe??
ginny587 (12:28:59 PM): after the last horcrux he'll pretty much have no sole...
ginny587 (12:29:02 PM): *soul
ginny587 (12:29:03 PM): LOL
BeatleKnight (12:29:15 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:29:17 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:29:17 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:29:18 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:29:19 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:29:19 PM): OM
BeatleKnight (12:29:21 PM): G
ginny587 (12:29:32 PM): ...what if someone kills him but there's one horcrux, then harry gets the last horcrux, so he's dead...
ginny587 (12:29:36 PM): and in a hallow...
ginny587 (12:30:05 PM): *deafening screams*
BeatleKnight (12:30:29 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:30:30 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:30:34 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ginny587 (12:30:48 PM): i....can't even....
ginny587 (12:30:51 PM): it's....
ginny587 (12:30:54 PM): HOLY CRAP
BeatleKnight (12:31:24 PM): its the fing perfect day too
BeatleKnight (12:31:27 PM): on our sleepover
BeatleKnight (12:31:30 PM): its like fate
ginny587 (12:32:00 PM): I KNOW!!!!!
BeatleKnight (12:32:45 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
BeatleKnight (12:32:47 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BeatleKnight (12:38:04 PM): buddy i must be off
ginny587 (12:38:14 PM): kk
BeatleKnight (12:38:13 PM): i have chores to do b4 the SLEEPOVER
BeatleKnight (12:38:16 PM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ginny587 (12:38:22 PM): WOOT
BeatleKnight (12:38:19 PM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ginny587 (12:38:26 PM):
BeatleKnight (12:38:24 PM):
ginny587 (12:38:32 PM):
BeatleKnight (12:38:31 PM): omg we are going to be so crazy
ginny587 (12:38:39 PM): I KNOW
BeatleKnight (12:38:38 PM): yay
BeatleKnight (12:38:41 PM): CANT WAIT
ginny587 (12:38:48 PM): woot woot WOOT
BeatleKnight (12:38:46 PM): ttyl!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ginny587 (12:38:54 PM): no
BeatleKnight (12:38:51 PM): you made my day!!!!!!!!
ginny587 (12:38:58 PM): SEE you later!
BeatleKnight (12:38:59 PM): ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
BeatleKnight (12:39:00 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHH
BeatleKnight (12:39:04 PM): dur da durrrrrrrrrr
ginny587 (12:39:12 PM): and you made mine! finally someone as crazed as me!
BeatleKnight (12:39:17 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BeatleKnight (12:39:18 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BeatleKnight (12:39:20 PM): AHHHHHHHHHH
BeatleKnight (12:39:20 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:21 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:22 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:23 PM): OMBG
BeatleKnight (12:39:23 PM): OMG
ginny587 (12:39:28 PM): lol
BeatleKnight (12:39:24 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:24 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:25 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:25 PM): MG
BeatleKnight (12:39:26 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:27 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:27 PM): OMG
ginny587 (12:39:32 PM): hahaha
BeatleKnight (12:39:28 PM): MOG
BeatleKnight (12:39:28 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:29 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:30 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:31 PM): OMG
BeatleKnight (12:39:31 PM): OMG
ginny587 (12:39:39 PM): this is going in my blog
BeatleKnight (12:39:58 PM): YES
BeatleKnight (12:40:04 PM): lol i went over the limit for ims
ginny587 (12:40:24 PM): heehee
BeatleKnight (12:40:20 PM): ok buddy see you in a few short hours!!!!
ginny587 (12:40:27 PM): kk
BeatleKnight (12:40:23 PM):
ginny587 (12:40:29 PM): 'lohas!
BeatleKnight (12:40:30 PM): buh byez

now that i can breathe...

this is exactly how it all went down earlier.
Melissa Sechrist, I FREAKING LOVE YOU.
I was giving up on mugglenet for a few days for lack of news. If you hadn't said this, I wouldn't have known for IDK how long.
anyhoo:
skilletfreak1988 (11:25:29 AM): the title for book seven is out!!!!!
ginny587 (11:26:07 AM): WHAT???!!!!!
ginny587 (11:26:10 AM): AAAAAHHHH
ginny587 (11:26:33 AM): dont tell me
skilletfreak1988 (11:26:28 AM): go to mugglenet!!! run like the wind!!!!
ginny587 (11:26:36 AM): i am!!
skilletfreak1988 (11:26:55 AM): my sister wanted me to tell you but i said no even before you said it!!
ginny587 (11:27:40 AM): DEATHLY HALLOWS
ginny587 (11:27:44 AM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ginny587 (11:27:47 AM): AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
ginny587 (11:27:54 AM): OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG OMG OMG OMG
skilletfreak1988 (11:28:02 AM): isn't it amazing!!!!????
ginny587 (11:28:17 AM): OMG OMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
skilletfreak1988 (11:28:14 AM): that means it has to be out soon!!!!
ginny587 (11:28:27 AM): OMGOMGOMG
skilletfreak1988 (11:28:24 AM): AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
skilletfreak1988 (11:28:34 AM): are you in shock?
ginny587 (11:29:33 AM): i'm shaking with excitement
ginny587 (11:29:38 AM): i can't sit still
ginny587 (11:29:52 AM): my eyes are WIDE open and i'm WIDE awake and freaked out!!!
skilletfreak1988 (11:30:05 AM): were you awake before?
skilletfreak1988 (11:30:11 AM): or is this a new thing?
skilletfreak1988 (11:31:22 AM): did you go to tell your family or are you still in shock?
ginny587 (11:32:12 AM): no not new
skilletfreak1988 (11:32:24 AM): did you have caffiene
ginny587 (11:32:44 AM): my mom doesn't care, so i'm calling ppl
skilletfreak1988 (11:33:04 AM): who are you calling? you should call sarah s.
ginny587 (11:33:14 AM): already did
ginny587 (11:33:17 AM): and my rachel
ginny587 (11:33:27 AM): but i can't call sandy idk her cell number
skilletfreak1988 (11:33:28 AM): what did sarah say?
ginny587 (11:33:42 AM): she's pretty excited
ginny587 (11:33:53 AM): AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
skilletfreak1988 (11:34:10 AM): that's cool. i can't tell whether you are or not. maybe you should scream louder.
ginny587 (11:34:27 AM): lol
skilletfreak1988 (11:34:42 AM): remember, you told me that i'd be able to hear you screaming when the 7th book release date was announced.
ginny587 (11:35:04 AM): you still will
skilletfreak1988 (11:35:01 AM): i'm pretty far away so you should probably start practicing.
ginny587 (11:35:14 AM): lol
ginny587 (11:35:28 AM): i am unbelievably amazingly excited right now...
ginny587 (11:35:39 AM): imagine: pre trailer times one hundred
ginny587 (11:35:49 AM): BUT i'll be worse with a date
skilletfreak1988 (11:35:54 AM): i can tell. oh wow...that's pretty intense.
skilletfreak1988 (11:36:01 AM): i can only imagine.
ginny587 (11:36:12 AM): i know
skilletfreak1988 (11:37:47 AM): i'm looking at new buddy icons.
ginny587 (11:37:58 AM): ooh
ginny587 (11:38:01 AM): i'm going in the door
skilletfreak1988 (11:38:00 AM): there are star wars ones!!!
skilletfreak1988 (11:38:15 AM): i tried to go in the door but i couldn't make the key work
ginny587 (11:39:32 AM): i'm lookin for it
ginny587 (11:39:34 AM): where is it?
skilletfreak1988 (11:39:56 AM): it's the 4th chime in the window.
ginny587 (11:40:45 AM): ah
skilletfreak1988 (11:40:53 AM): did you find it?
skilletfreak1988 (11:41:02 AM): did my icon change?
ginny587 (11:41:25 AM): it's aragon
ginny587 (11:41:30 AM): aragorn?
ginny587 (11:41:34 AM): what's his face
skilletfreak1988 (11:41:46 AM): yah!!!!! but i want a different one.
ginny587 (11:42:03 AM): ok
ginny587 (11:42:10 AM): then get a dif one
ginny587 (11:42:15 AM): i got the door to work!!!
ginny587 (11:42:16 AM): OMG
ginny587 (11:42:24 AM): darth vader now
skilletfreak1988 (11:42:33 AM): yah!!!!! how did you open the door?
skilletfreak1988 (11:42:39 AM): it wouldn't work for me.
ginny587 (11:42:47 AM): pick up the key and drag it to the lock
skilletfreak1988 (11:42:57 AM): do you have a mouse?
ginny587 (11:43:05 AM): yeah
skilletfreak1988 (11:43:35 AM): oh. maybe that's why.
skilletfreak1988 (11:43:46 AM): i could go get mine but i'm too lazy.
ginny587 (11:43:55 AM): lol
skilletfreak1988 (11:44:29 AM): i can't find a picture of anakin with long hair for my icon. eeerrrrrgggghhhhh!!!!
ginny587 (11:44:45 AM):
skilletfreak1988 (11:44:49 AM): very sad.
ginny587 (11:45:03 AM): i know
ginny587 (11:45:11 AM): DEATHLY HALLOWS....AAAHHHH!!!
skilletfreak1988 (11:45:27 AM): my family is making fun of me.
ginny587 (11:45:41 AM): AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
ginny587 (11:45:52 AM): my mom isn't even acknowledging me anymore
skilletfreak1988 (11:45:56 AM): you're silly. why not?
ginny587 (11:46:17 AM): i'm crazy, that's why
ginny587 (11:46:31 AM): not in a mean way
skilletfreak1988 (11:46:29 AM): why are you crazy?
ginny587 (11:46:35 AM): in a joking way
ginny587 (11:46:42 AM): THE BOOK!!!!!!!!
ginny587 (11:46:47 AM): DUH!
skilletfreak1988 (11:47:10 AM): i found a long hair one!!
ginny587 (11:48:15 AM): niice
skilletfreak1988 (11:48:22 AM): it won't work though.
ginny587 (11:48:39 AM): pooty
ginny587 (11:48:42 AM): ***pooey
skilletfreak1988 (11:48:38 AM): be right back i have to pick hair off of the bottom of the chairs.
ginny587 (11:48:46 AM): kk
ginny587 (11:48:50 AM): ??
skilletfreak1988 (11:58:27 AM): my mom is a deep cleaner.
ginny587 (11:58:44 AM): i guess..
skilletfreak1988 (11:58:54 AM): the dog hair gets stuck to the bottoms of the chairs and then we pick it off. very thrilling.
ginny587 (11:59:04 AM): lol
ginny587 (11:59:07 AM): i can imagine
ginny587 (11:59:10 AM): OMG OMG OMG
ginny587 (11:59:17 AM): DEATHLY HALLOWS
ginny587 (11:59:18 AM): ;D ;D
ginny587 (11:59:24 AM): *
skilletfreak1988 (11:59:37 AM): you sure have a one-track mind.
ginny587 (11:59:55 AM): harry potter is my life
ginny587 (11:59:59 AM): AAAAAAHHHHH
skilletfreak1988 (12:00:12 PM): you are very crazy.
ginny587 (12:01:09 PM): this isn't a release date....you have no idea...
skilletfreak1988 (12:01:17 PM): i can only imagine.
ginny587 (12:01:25 PM): lol
skilletfreak1988 (12:01:28 PM): do you like my new icon?
ginny587 (12:01:38 PM): niice
skilletfreak1988 (12:01:47 PM): yes. he is fairly beautiful.
skilletfreak1988 (12:02:29 PM): anyway, i'm going to go help my mom now, so I'll talk to you later!!!
skilletfreak1988 (12:02:45 PM): by the way, i got shoes for band!!
skilletfreak1988 (12:02:58 PM): now i don't have to borrow yours any more!!
skilletfreak1988 (12:03:05 PM): see you later!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

IT'S HERE!!!
THE BEST DAY EVER!!!!
HARRY POTTER BOOK 7 HAS A TITLE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY SHEER EXCITEMENT!
I AM SHAKING I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WERE NEAR ME...
THINK PRE-HAPPY FEET (FOR THE TRAILER FOR MOVIE 5) TIMES ONE HUNDRED.
NOW ALL I NEED IS A RELEASE DATE...
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
*spoiler warning below*
*
~
**
~
***
~
**
~
*
...HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arrrrrrgh

So I've had a very interesting past couple of days.
Monday was with Kristina. And it was awesome. We made paper snowflakes that are really, really cool looking, watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding and 13 Going On 30, had some tea, baked sugar cookies. Evidently, when you squirt strawberry syrup out of the container, it looks like it's bleeding...LOL...you had to be there.
Yesterday was nothingness.
And today was with Megan. We made chocolate covered pretzels, watched today's episode of AMC (which Kate is coming back this week, the next murder victim is evidently a guy, and Zach is looking oddly guilty...or oddly something, AND Babe just *may* be pregnant), did an evil bubblegum machine puzzle (cackling puzzle pieces...LOL...again, you had to be there) and went to a Mexican grocery store in Joliet since they have really cheap produce. Well, that's not all they have. There's also cow heads. Yes, severed cow heads wrapped in plastic with no hide, glazed over eyes and sticking out tongues. EWWWWW....and I thought seeing pig feet at Jewel was bad enough...oh and evidently cow intestines are considered somewhat of a delicacy. All chopped up in a soupy mixture in a can, I forget the name of it it starts with an M. It's times like this I'm glad I don't eat much meat. gross gross gross.
I just got home.
Tomorrow is Rachel and Sandy.
I'll be going to bed soon, I'll need my energy, I'm actually starting to calm and get to a slight tired state.
Key word being slight. I'm at the pensive stage. Though I'm not sure what to be pensive about, there's really nothing.
Thoughtful but without a thought.
:P
I'm listening to the happiest thing ever.
My absolute favorite Christmas song, and the best version of it, too.
O Holy Night sung by Martina McBride.
Gloriousness. This is the song where, with the right voice, is *amazing.* At least, in my world it is.
The downside would be the numerous versions by those who can't sing or for some reason can't stay on the same note for more than an eighth note.
Blah.
But, this is happy. Happy happy. Wonderful.
I miss people today. Not as much as yesterday because I had somewhere to go and something to concentrate on, but it's getting slightly worse now that my mind can wander more and I've nothing to do, really.
There is someone online, but judging by what their recent blog and away message say, they're writing. And I've been writing before while trying to IM. It doesn't work. Writing needs continual thought processes, and IMing breaks it up too much.
My room is a wreck again. I'll get to cleaning it. Sometime before Christmas, I hope. ;)
I'm also really hungry. But I want to sleep soon, and I can't eat like I want to without having to wait an hour for everything to settle, and I want to be in bed a little sooner than that.
Speaking of which.
I was having a skinny day. Horrid, horrid skinny day. I looked in the mirror before getting in the shower. Before I ate anything.
My stomach was FLAT. Almost slightly caved *in.* Like it used to do, before my freshman 15. Recently it's been a little pooched, which is fine by me.
And my hip bones were sticking out. I *was* getting some pooch there, I haven't seen my hip bones like that since before I left.
Most people have "fat" days. Skinny days are my equivalent. They are annoying to me.
I also wore a pair of my size 0 jeans today, they only pair that still fits. I've needed a belt 'cause my larger rear has been filling them out to the point where they hardly reach my hips. Today, they were falling off again.
So I weighed myself.
Stupid, stupid scale.
The needle wouldn't go over 106. Which is ridiculous, unless I'm remembering incorrectly, it said 118 last Friday.
Megan came over later, she had to weigh a package before mailing it and didn't have a scale. What our scale said here was the same as what the post office said it weighed.
Which means it didn't screw up.
I must have read it wrong, mistook the 110 mark for the 120 mark, 'cause there's no freaking way I lost 12 pounds in five days. I know I've been eating less and healthier since coming home, but geez, you don't lose that much while EATING.
I just weighed myself again. It says 109.
I could scream. I am so freaking mad right now.
AAAAHHHH!!!
WHY CAN'T I JUST GAIN WEIGHT???WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? I'M TIRED OF BEING A COMPLETE TOOTHPICK, I ENJOY HAVING A BUTT AND FITTING INTO JEANS THAT HAVE AN ACTUAL NUMBER AS A SIZE!!!!!!!!!
It doesn't make sense, either, there's things that don't fit me anymore.
Unless I'm mistaken.
Let's see.
Skirts, here I come.
*fifteen minutes later*
OK, more like five.
They fit.
When I tried them on last Friday, I was trying to make them sit too low on my waist. When they sit where they should, they fit.
I can't even begin to express my anger.
There are no words for it.
I seriously misread that scale last week. I am nearsighted, and I didn't have any glasses or contacts on when I thought it said 118.
This makes the two pairs of jeans my mom bought kind of pointless. I mean, I do have some fairly tight jeans in my possesion, but when I think about it, they've fit that way for a while.
Eh.
And GRRRRRR.
I'm ticked. Thoroughly ticked. Very angered.
Stupid metabolism.
*breathes calmly*
Time to change music.
Harvey Danger, Flagpole Sitta.
I've been searching for this song for YEARS. Megan had it and burned it to a disk for me.
Here's the lyrics.
i had visions, i was in them
i was looking into the mirror
to see a little bit clearer
the rottenness and evil in me
fingertips have memories
mine can't forget the curves of your body
and when i feel a bit naughty
i run it up the flagpole and see who salutes(but no one ever does)
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell
been around the world and found
that only stupid people are breeding
the cretins cloning and feeding
and i don't even own a tv
put me in the hospital for nerves
and then they had to commit me
you told them all i was crazy
they cut off my legs now i'm an amputee, god damn you
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and it's a sin to live so well
i wanna publish zines
and rage against machines
i wanna pierce my tongue
it doesn't hurt, it feels fine
the trivial sublime
i'd like to turn off time
and kill my mind
you kill my mind
paranoia paranoia
everybody's coming to get me
just say you never met me
i'm runnin underground with the moles
didn't get holes
i hear the voices in my head
i swear to god it sounds like they're snoring
but if you're bored then you're boring
the agony and the irony, they're killing me
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and it's a sin to live so well

Yup it's pretty much amazing and my mood is twenty times better. The bold lines are the best ones in the song in my opinion.
So I'm tired to the point of sleeping now.
So goodnight!

20 things part deux

My facebook is "unavailable" for an unsaid amount of time thanks to "site maintenance." Which makes me mad. Someone wrote on my wall and I want to know what they said.
So, to kill some time I would have otherwise spent on facebook, it's twenty things part duex.
Enjoy.
1. Last night was awesome. That's really the first time I've seen your more insanse side, and I was very amused. "It's bleeding!!!" LOL
2. You recently vented to me about something. And afterwards, I noticed you kind of doing the same thing. Kind of. Not in the same way, but just a little. I find it extremely amusing. It's kind of like an unsaid struggle that's interesting to see/hear unfold.
3. Stop screaming and blaming it on something else. When I say put the whistle away, don't throw a temper tantrum. I was trying to sleep. And you're annoying. And twelve. And annoying. I love you, I just have a hard time remaining calm/not screaming when you're that annoying.
4. I find it funny how we've turned you into a geek of a certain series. It's exciting.
5. This one's a lot more obvious, but there's no way around it. I will miss you more than I can tell should you study abroad one term. I know you're graduating before me and I've got to spend a year without you anyway, and I'm not trying to convince you to stay. I'm not my grandmother. I understand the opportunity, I've considered spending a term in England myself. I will just miss you A LOT.
6. What you very recently started looking into would be a lot of fun, should you choose that path. We'd be the only two!!
7. I'm seeing you very soon, sometime next week. No need to have hour long IM conversations. I'm already running out of stories to tell.
8. I miss you and your randomness. This break is going to take forever. And I can't wait to see you again!
9. Just be quiet. I don't need to hear your big "important" opinions on everything. Not everyone agrees with you and it's no fun being suffocated on a five minute basis because I'm "so wrong."
10. Stop guilt tripping me into everything.
11. I think I noticed my "number" in your list. Number seven, I'm thinking. If I'm right, no, I don't really feel ditched. I have the tendency to concentrate too much on my friendships with those who are older than I, so the separation at the start of this term was a good thing since it allowed me to concentrate on my friendships with those who are in my year, which have grown to the closeness of my friends from high school. I would like to do a little bit more with you, though, and enjoy the time we have before you're graduated. I'm glad you're "honored" with my ability to come to you for help, and I hope you feel that you can come to me, too. And, finally, thank you for the compliment on my quirks and eccentricity. That's what used to cause me to be teased within an inch of my life, and for someone I've met so recently to say they liked that aspect of me means a lot. Yes, this would be the second thing on this list about you, I tend to just go with my thoughts and not necessarily 20 individuals. And if I am wrong, just disregard this and I'll call myself blonde once more.
12. I miss you more than anything. I haven't seen you since early August, and I won't be seeing you Christmas Eve. I can't wait to see you, and wish desparately that you were well enough to join everyone in the Christmas festivities.
13. There are so many indecent terms I can use for you. All I can say is thank goodness that class is over and I will never have you as a prof again.
14. Talk to me. If there's something I'm doing you don't like, SAY SOMETHING. Don't just glare at me and maintain a stony silence.
15. You remind me of my aunt and you're hilarious.
16. I think I've figured out what you wrapped for me under the Christmas tree. All except for one thing.
17. Don't be so clingy. If Snoopy's in your face, hiss at him. Tell him who's boss. You can stand your own ground, you did when I was gone. Nothing's changing now that I'm home.
18. Stop doing the "maintanence" thing on my facebook account. I want to see what's on my wall!!!
19. Leave some Christmas cookies for me, please, I don't eat them that fast.
20. Why does everything seem to be falling apart with all of you? It's sad how much alchohol can screw with people's lives. Stop drinking, it doesn't solve anything. If I do choose to come out there and meet everyone someday, I hope there's still people to meet.
That was slightly more difficult than the first time. Now to hope facebook is up again.

hmmm...

Evidently, IMing a friend and reading the blog of another friend right before bed leads to some wierd dreams.
I was IMing Kristina, and she mentioned how around the time that Orchesis would have started, she started getting this insane urge to dance again, and I said how after ISU I had the insane urge to march again.
And I read Sarah's blog, which alluded to the NYC trip and the possibility of her studying abroad.
So, in my dream, I had a band concert, but while we were warming up, we marched. Even though we're a concert band and there is no marching band. We had formations to our warm ups that we did in the lobby of the FAC in concert dress and all.
Then I dreamed about talking to Sarah and she was all excited because she thought it was only 50 days until NY, but I was telling her it's really 220 (which it's only 133 right now).
And in the last part of my dream, I was very sad because Sarah was studying abroad and she wasn't at Wartburg anymore.
Those are the only parts I really remember...I keep thinking there was more, something about a field show performance and my brother, but I can't remember that part well at all.
Yup.
Kind of strange.
Today's going to be BORING.
My parents are going grocery shopping. Which takes from two to three hours. Why they're that pokey I'll never know, but it makes things beyond dull for me since I'm stranded in a pretty much empty house (no car and my brother is normally down the street with some friends).
Bleh.
I sense some facebook albums. Doing those survey thingers in my myspace blog. Doing a few lists here and possibly on facebook. Banging my head off the keyboard. Etc, etc.
I think I realized why I'm so freakishly, abnormally bored with home while I loved weekends like this last year.
Last year I had school, and I was busy beyond all belief between band and clubs and college searching and homework for two AP classes.
Now that I've got nothing during the week, dull weekends are even MORE dull and boring.
:P
I think I'll enjoy people being around while everyone's still here...

happy home again

I've adjusted back to "being at home" life.
And I'm used to not having people around all the time again.
Kristina and I are making some plans now :D
And life is good.
I wore my fave jeans today.
The $75 ones from Express my cousin gave to me a couple years ago 'cause they were hardly worn and didn't fit her anymore.
Yeah they're killing my stomach now.
Soo they don't fit anymore. And that makes me sad.
But the bonus is I get some serious shopping money for Christmas so I can get ones that do fit. And I'm getting an early pair this week so I have something for Christmas eve.
woo hoo.
Now it's the size game. I wonder if I'm more a one or three...and if my new proportions will make anything fit more easily...I don't want to spend two hours finding two pairs like I had to last year.
I got some yarn today. Blue fuzzy stuff. For my five month old cousin's hat. The stuff HATES me...I had to start the hat twice, first time 'cause I used too small a loom and the second time due to a random hole right after I finished the brim.
I've given up for the night. I'll attempt later.
I got decent Chinese food for dinner tonight!!!! wOOt!!! I've been wanting some since July. It was amazingly happy.
Tink thinks I'm leaving tomorrow 'cause every time I've come back, I leave Sunday morning. So she's been super clingy allll night. Poor kitty.
She also turned 14 on Friday!!! And I'm the only one who noticed :D
hmmm...I think that's pretty much been my whole day...nothing amazingly exciting.
Only nine days until Christmas!!!
:D :D :D

Jesus and the Ninja Turtle...reducing turgor pressure...jelly beans...*heehee*

Kari definetly isn't talking to me right now.
And I think Larisa's mad at me, too.
Last night, right when I was in the process of making some evening plans with Sarah, she started IMing me to see if I was doing anything. Which at first I said no cause I wasn't. Then, she suggests something to do barely two seconds after I finalized said plans with Sarah.
So *that* was happy.
Then, around 11, she calls me and asks me to come let her into our dorm hall. She didn't have her ID to get in, I guess. So, I say "Sure just a moment" and take the phone away from my ear to tell everyone I'd be right back and, out of habit, shut the phone, laughed at myself and went to call her back. She answered and grumpily said "nevermind, I got someone else to do it" and hung up on me.
AAAHHH!!!
I can't wait to be home...where nothing's this catty...I won't be inadvertantly angering people or facing awkward silence all of the time in my own room.
Aside from that, last night was pretty much a riot. Sarah and I went to watch Elf in Nathan and Duane's room, then went to the Den with Duane, then grabbed The Swordsmen from Sarah's room (an ametur *well that's spell wrong...* movie with Sarah in it. Very amusing.), watched that in Jesse and Ted's room, then just goofed off for quite a while. Several tickle fights ensued. Which meant, while flailing about trying to get people off of me, I ended up smacking myself several times. It was hilarious. :)
And I had the dreaded chem final yesterday. Which went wonderfuly. I actually understood emperical formulas for once! And molecular geometries!! :D
And I get to PACK tonight!!! WOO HOO!!!!! 'Cause tomorrow is HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay...on to showering and quick studying for my oral comm final. :P The good thing is it's easy and after it's over I'll be done with oral comm FOREVER!!!! :D :D :D

IT'S DONE!!!

Juries are over.
WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They really weren't that bad.
My piece went really well. Etude pretty good, I was stopped three lines into it.
Scale...
eh....
they asked me to play A major. On the way up, I accidentally played A minor but didn't realize until I got to the top, then I fixed it on the way down. They asked me to play it again.
And then the comment on how much I practiced.
I was really scared at the start of this.
I put on the sheet that I'd only practiced about two hours a week. According to Dominique, it should have been somewhere around six (thanks for the warning...). All the upperclassmen who had not practiced enough their first year said they were pretty much raked over the coals for it.
So, as the guy started talking about it, I started freaking out.
Well...more like continued freaking out, I hadn't been calm for a while at that point...
Anyway, he says "So, you only practiced about two hours a week. Do you want to be in Wind Ensemble?"
To which I replied "hopefully someday."
Then he said "You have a really good foundation. I know you're a chem major, and you've got a lot on your plate with that, but if you triple the practice time, you'll definetly be in wind ensemble a lot sooner than you think."
....
Not what I was expecting to hear at all.
It was wonderful.
And I feel like skipping now 'cause it's all OVER!!!!!
*and* a HUGE thank you to Sarah for everything.....I know I've already thanked you three times, but you helped sooo much I would have been a good deal worse if it wasn't for you being there.
So, for the last time,
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs*
Oh happy day....

I don't want monday to come...

Soo today..
Not very productive study/jury-wise.
VERY productive with Christmas gifts for my immediate family and knitting.
Woot!
Melissa, Chelsea, Katie and I watch Star Wars episodes six and one. It's Melissa's first time through the series, and she pretty much adores it as of right now. And it's good to watch these things with Chelsea, as she's a Star Wars maniac (HP is to Rachel as Star Wars is to Chelsea) so I'm understanding a lot more as she explains plot and characters to Melissa.
Chelsea also made a comment to me a few minutes ago as we were washing up.
A good one, very good.
It made me think, of course, as most things do.
Not just normal thought, analytical Rachel type thought. Which can be scary and disatstrous (some previous blogs have demonstrated this point...) but has its benefits, I guess.
Anyhoo.
I was a few minutes late in washing up with her 'cause when I hopped on my computer to check things, a buddies' away message caused some concern which ended up in me going down to her room for a hug/to make sure everything was OK (which it was, btw).
So as Chelsea and I were washing up, an almost nightly ritual, and I explained why I was a few minutes late, she turns to me and says "You're a very good friend."
Not much. Pretty simple.
Just enough to start the wheels in my head turning.
I have become rather mother like recently.
I've talked to Larisa about her roomate dealy a couple of times.
Gone on the runt for an RA with Melissa because she didn't want to go alone and was being kept up by noisy people two or three times now.
Especially around Chelsea, though, mostly due to how much studying we've done together recently. She tends to, when stressed, study so much it makes Hermione look like a slacker. She has pushed herself to the point of a complete breakdown due to studing for HOURS without any form of break several times, as she's admitted.
Wednesday night, while she was with Melissa, she had what she calls a mini breakdown but what Melissa calls the scariest thing on the planet.
So, as we've been studying, I've been constantly asking how long she's been going at it and have been pushing her to close the books, even if only for a few minutes. Especially today. And getting her to quit freaking out and almost hyperventilating every time she thinks about studying.
Not to mention the facebook status, away message, and blog checking I've been doing for a while now.
I've just, very recently, become inclined to "watch out" for my friends a lot more than I ever have.
I'm not completely sure why.
Well, I have an idea. When I started this blog, I didn't really think a whole lot of people would pay attention.
The first bad day I had after starting this thing, someone did, indeed, notice, and asked me if I was ok as soon as they saw me.
It made me realize that others do watch out for me...that they actually go out of their way (in a sense) to read what I've written here and pay attention to it and remember it (to an extent).
So I started doing the same.
Annnd the train of thought I had going along very nicely just derailed as I looked at the time.
Pooey.
For now, that is all.
Good night! ;)

WOO HOO!!!

Hell week is OVER!!!
WOOT!!!
I survived.
Not only that, I completed *all* assignments and didn't skip one class.
Now...next term...I have a goal.
Absolutely NO missing assignments.
And, no matter *how* tired I am, I am NOT skipping class on purpose.
Unless I am sick.
That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.
Anyhoo...
Not much is going on now that today's pretty much done.
I'll start studying chem this weekend while Melissa and Chelsea are studying Bio.
But, since that final isn't til Tuesday night, I don't have anything but juries to freak out about.
And even with that, if I practice too much I start making a million ridiculous mistakes, so I can't lock myself in a practice room of the FAC all weekend and expect to perform decently.
Half hour to an hour tonight and tomorrow and no more than a half hour Sunday.
Somehow, I do my best if I haven't played the pieces for a day or so or only briefly run through them the day before.
I'm most looking forward to plenty of sleep.
I found a new tool in hyperness today.
Melissa informed me of suicides, which are all pops mixed together.
Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Coke and root beer tastes like those root beer popsicles and has an effect equivalent to that of coffee.
It was awesome.
I was practically bouncing all through the chem test, as I eat *right* before chem.
I've calmed now, but I'm still wide awake.
Band yesterday was amazing.
I seriously don't think I've ever enjoyed concert band this much.
Both bands were together, and we were playing random Christmas carols, and whoever wanted to got to conduct.
Then, Doc regave the marble speech he originally gave at band bonding, and had Hanna read a note he wrote to all of us that was the *warm fuzzy*-est thing ever. We each got a copy, along with a marble attached to wire that can act as an ornament. Of course, everyone started bawling.
Then we gave Doc our present to him, which was an orange and black fleece blanket with WCCB embroidered on it and everyone signed their name w/ black marker. To which he said that he and his family will use it constantly for many years to come, because we don't just hang on a wall in his heart, he takes us out and uses us every day.
So then *he* started crying, and everyone just cried *harder.*
It was awesome, with a closeness that rivaled that of MK. Completely made my *entire* day of studying a heck of a lot happier.
But, sadly, there's no more band until January. :(
And for now, life is good.

This was my chem lab quiz. seriously.

1. What item must be worn on your face at all times while in the lab?
a. a smile
b. dried food from lunch
c. make up
d. safety eyeware such as goggles

2. What must you do when your skin is exposed to either an acid or a base?
a. take observations
b. run screaming from the room
c. jam the exposed area into your pocket and leave, telling no one of your awful secret
d. immediately rinse the exposed area with cold water and tell the professor

3. If you get cut from any source you should:
a. hold up the wound and call attention to yourself by saying "cool man!"
b. demonstrate your machismo by continuing the experiment, dribbling blood about the floor and counter
c. vigorously resist all attempts at help, claiming that Sylvester Stallone never needed help in the lab so why should you!
d. let the professor know of your injury and then allow first aid to be administered

4. If you feel ill in lab, either because of something you have been exposed to in the lab or from another source from outside the lab, you should:
a. rush back in secret to your dorm room so your worsening condition won't upset anyone else
b. position yourself near several sharp table corners, then suddenly pitch over in a dead faint
c. sit back and have a conversation with the imaginary friends you've begun to hallucinate
d. inform the professor of your condition and then allow fist aid to be administered

5. Eating, drinking, and smoking in lab are not allowed because:
a. students never offer to share with professors and so if I can't have any, neither can you!
b. caf food, being what it is, you should thank me for this rule
c. trying to consume all three of these things simultaneously is distracting to those working around you
d. accidental ingestion of a chemical is more likely if you're already nibbling or drinking and smoking is just a bad habit anyway

6. Shorts and open toed shoes are forbidden in lab because:
a. professors have their own unique ideas about fashion
b. there is a town ordinance against the professors' legs being seen in public and if he can't be seen, neither can I!
c. "hormonally advantaged" students are distracted enough as it is, and a pair of shapely, well you know, might lead to the end of this building, which, when you think about it....
d. long pants and closed shoes provide a barrier against chemicals spilled in lab

7. Never use mouth suction to pipet because:
a. professors love to watch students struggling witht the faulty pipet pumps
b. if students got pipetting done easily, the labs would be over too quickly and that would defeat the point of lab entirely
c. training students to stand apathetically in long lines, waiting to use the pipet bulbs, is good training for parenthood and those long lines at Disney World
d. it is too easy to accidentally draw chemicals into your mouth

8. Waste chemicals should be:
a. taken home to be dumped in a roommates' drawer
b. taken to the cafeteria to spice up the dinner offerings
c. dumped down the drain because (insert drawl here) a little water pollution never hurt nobody
d. properly disposed of

9. when in doubt aout something, anything, in lab, you should:
a. follow your intuition because that's the spirit that made America great
b. "my mother and your mother were washing clothes. my mother punched your mother right in the..."
c. run screaming from the lab that "AVAGADRO'S GOT ME! AVAGADRO'S GOT ME!!!"
d. ask the professor or the lab assistant

10. The overall purpose of lab is to:
a. extend the boredom of chemistry into the afternoon and or evening
b. expose you to dangerous chemicals that will blossom into cancer two to three decades down the road when it's too late to blame us
c. tick off athletic coaches and music directors by keeping your afternoon full, reducing your practice time wich jeopardizes their jobs and makes the science profs feel better about never getting picked before the kid with mono and a broken limb in football
d. link class concepts to real activities in an environment that is fun, possibly exciting, and also safe for all

it was pretty much exciting :D

POST 100! WOO HOO!

I just had this warm and fuzzy conversation with my momma a few minutes ago..
ginny587 (1:00:21 PM): i mailed nate a little something today
Emole57 (1:00:26 PM): it should be there in about 3 or 4 days
ginny587 (1:00:30 PM): okay
Emole57 (1:00:50 PM): did you e-mail him
ginny587 (1:01:01 PM): no i mailed him one of my christmas cards
Emole57 (1:01:17 PM): oh i think he will like that
ginny587 (1:01:20 PM): me too
Emole57 (1:01:34 PM): he has been counting the days til you come home
ginny587 (1:01:44 PM): awwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!
Emole57 (1:01:54 PM): but you know he will not admit it
ginny587 (1:01:57 PM): yeah i know that
Emole57 (1:02:33 PM): he says mom it's this many days til she's home right
ginny587 (1:02:38 PM): lol
Emole57 (1:02:44 PM): i tell him if he
Emole57 (1:03:06 PM): is right or not
Emole57 (1:03:27 PM): he usually is
My brother MISSES me enough to have a countdown for me...and he HATES math!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*WARM WARM WARM fuzzies* :D :D :D
In other news...
STRESS is kicking in BIG time.
I need to do an entire religion paper for tomorrow, which I'll start in a moment.
I have *two* tests on Friday.
Religion.
And chem.
Both of which I need to spend *full* days studying.
AND there's juries, I still have a bit of practicing to do. Quite a bit.
AND band today, a religion SI tonight, lab and band on thursday and a hell day again tomorrow.
A week from today...a week from today...my hard finals will be *over* as will juries, just an IS final that I don't have to do anything for and packing and de-Christmasing/rearranging my lights.
Almost there...almost there...almost there...
*exasperated sigh*
Time to hit EBSCO. And some chocolate.