arrrrrrgh

So I've had a very interesting past couple of days.
Monday was with Kristina. And it was awesome. We made paper snowflakes that are really, really cool looking, watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding and 13 Going On 30, had some tea, baked sugar cookies. Evidently, when you squirt strawberry syrup out of the container, it looks like it's bleeding...LOL...you had to be there.
Yesterday was nothingness.
And today was with Megan. We made chocolate covered pretzels, watched today's episode of AMC (which Kate is coming back this week, the next murder victim is evidently a guy, and Zach is looking oddly guilty...or oddly something, AND Babe just *may* be pregnant), did an evil bubblegum machine puzzle (cackling puzzle pieces...LOL...again, you had to be there) and went to a Mexican grocery store in Joliet since they have really cheap produce. Well, that's not all they have. There's also cow heads. Yes, severed cow heads wrapped in plastic with no hide, glazed over eyes and sticking out tongues. EWWWWW....and I thought seeing pig feet at Jewel was bad enough...oh and evidently cow intestines are considered somewhat of a delicacy. All chopped up in a soupy mixture in a can, I forget the name of it it starts with an M. It's times like this I'm glad I don't eat much meat. gross gross gross.
I just got home.
Tomorrow is Rachel and Sandy.
I'll be going to bed soon, I'll need my energy, I'm actually starting to calm and get to a slight tired state.
Key word being slight. I'm at the pensive stage. Though I'm not sure what to be pensive about, there's really nothing.
Thoughtful but without a thought.
:P
I'm listening to the happiest thing ever.
My absolute favorite Christmas song, and the best version of it, too.
O Holy Night sung by Martina McBride.
Gloriousness. This is the song where, with the right voice, is *amazing.* At least, in my world it is.
The downside would be the numerous versions by those who can't sing or for some reason can't stay on the same note for more than an eighth note.
Blah.
But, this is happy. Happy happy. Wonderful.
I miss people today. Not as much as yesterday because I had somewhere to go and something to concentrate on, but it's getting slightly worse now that my mind can wander more and I've nothing to do, really.
There is someone online, but judging by what their recent blog and away message say, they're writing. And I've been writing before while trying to IM. It doesn't work. Writing needs continual thought processes, and IMing breaks it up too much.
My room is a wreck again. I'll get to cleaning it. Sometime before Christmas, I hope. ;)
I'm also really hungry. But I want to sleep soon, and I can't eat like I want to without having to wait an hour for everything to settle, and I want to be in bed a little sooner than that.
Speaking of which.
I was having a skinny day. Horrid, horrid skinny day. I looked in the mirror before getting in the shower. Before I ate anything.
My stomach was FLAT. Almost slightly caved *in.* Like it used to do, before my freshman 15. Recently it's been a little pooched, which is fine by me.
And my hip bones were sticking out. I *was* getting some pooch there, I haven't seen my hip bones like that since before I left.
Most people have "fat" days. Skinny days are my equivalent. They are annoying to me.
I also wore a pair of my size 0 jeans today, they only pair that still fits. I've needed a belt 'cause my larger rear has been filling them out to the point where they hardly reach my hips. Today, they were falling off again.
So I weighed myself.
Stupid, stupid scale.
The needle wouldn't go over 106. Which is ridiculous, unless I'm remembering incorrectly, it said 118 last Friday.
Megan came over later, she had to weigh a package before mailing it and didn't have a scale. What our scale said here was the same as what the post office said it weighed.
Which means it didn't screw up.
I must have read it wrong, mistook the 110 mark for the 120 mark, 'cause there's no freaking way I lost 12 pounds in five days. I know I've been eating less and healthier since coming home, but geez, you don't lose that much while EATING.
I just weighed myself again. It says 109.
I could scream. I am so freaking mad right now.
AAAAHHHH!!!
WHY CAN'T I JUST GAIN WEIGHT???WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? I'M TIRED OF BEING A COMPLETE TOOTHPICK, I ENJOY HAVING A BUTT AND FITTING INTO JEANS THAT HAVE AN ACTUAL NUMBER AS A SIZE!!!!!!!!!
It doesn't make sense, either, there's things that don't fit me anymore.
Unless I'm mistaken.
Let's see.
Skirts, here I come.
*fifteen minutes later*
OK, more like five.
They fit.
When I tried them on last Friday, I was trying to make them sit too low on my waist. When they sit where they should, they fit.
I can't even begin to express my anger.
There are no words for it.
I seriously misread that scale last week. I am nearsighted, and I didn't have any glasses or contacts on when I thought it said 118.
This makes the two pairs of jeans my mom bought kind of pointless. I mean, I do have some fairly tight jeans in my possesion, but when I think about it, they've fit that way for a while.
Eh.
And GRRRRRR.
I'm ticked. Thoroughly ticked. Very angered.
Stupid metabolism.
*breathes calmly*
Time to change music.
Harvey Danger, Flagpole Sitta.
I've been searching for this song for YEARS. Megan had it and burned it to a disk for me.
Here's the lyrics.
i had visions, i was in them
i was looking into the mirror
to see a little bit clearer
the rottenness and evil in me
fingertips have memories
mine can't forget the curves of your body
and when i feel a bit naughty
i run it up the flagpole and see who salutes(but no one ever does)
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell
been around the world and found
that only stupid people are breeding
the cretins cloning and feeding
and i don't even own a tv
put me in the hospital for nerves
and then they had to commit me
you told them all i was crazy
they cut off my legs now i'm an amputee, god damn you
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and it's a sin to live so well
i wanna publish zines
and rage against machines
i wanna pierce my tongue
it doesn't hurt, it feels fine
the trivial sublime
i'd like to turn off time
and kill my mind
you kill my mind
paranoia paranoia
everybody's coming to get me
just say you never met me
i'm runnin underground with the moles
didn't get holes
i hear the voices in my head
i swear to god it sounds like they're snoring
but if you're bored then you're boring
the agony and the irony, they're killing me
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and i'm so hot cause i'm in hell
i'm not sick but i'm not well
and it's a sin to live so well

Yup it's pretty much amazing and my mood is twenty times better. The bold lines are the best ones in the song in my opinion.
So I'm tired to the point of sleeping now.
So goodnight!