Indeed.
I was thinking while I was at work today about how much has changed since last year.
Pretty much everything has.
If someone told me when I was graduating high school that at the end of my second year I'd be a music eduation major with blue hair and a tattoo I would have called them crazy.
Even the things I've done over the past two semesters are things I wouldn't have thought I would do. The whole trayless week thing, for instance.
There's still May term left in this school year, but the "normal" part of the year is quickly ending, whether or not I want it to. The only reason I wouldn't want it to is because it's really been a great semester, considering things other than my workload. There are a lot of happy memories there. And I know that the people I've spent almost all of my free time with aren't going to be here for a vast majority of May term.
Some things I have to remember this year by...
*the great tray heist.
*blue hair dye.
*Doctor Who, Friday nights
*making fun of Most Haunted and Moonlight (vampire genocide...)
*crowding way too many people onto that futon on a very regular basis.
*being extremely cuddly on said futon.
*not caring who may think we're lesbians, holding hands really does make life more bearable when crap happens. As does walking down hallways arm in arm.
*hell weeks this term and camping out in the library in the company of an amazing friend.
*diet Pepsi and late night snacks from the ditty.
*watching movies just to make fun of them (the Cinderella musical/Cinderella with Matthew Broderick...)
*walking across campus to or from the manors late at night.
*20th and 21st birthday(s).
*flicking contests in band.
*bruises from said flicking contests.
*crappy jobs.
*homecoming weekend.
*crashing on futons when it's too late to wander home.
There's also a lot that I've learned over this past school year.
Like there's no such thing as forever. Everything is going to change at some point in time. Lives start and end, people move out or in, some graduate...everything should be appreciated while it's there, because while it may be there for a very long time, it's never absolutely permanent. (that was rather pessimistic, but it's true..)
I've also learned the difference between fair weather friends, good friends, and amazingly close friends. I've become increasingly greatful for the latter, but sadly some have made their way into the first category. In a couple of cases it wasn't what I expected at all, but it is.
I also think it's time for a break. I've become somewhat frustrated by certain people, and I really just need separation. Not every single conversation has to be a contest. Yes, there are points in conversation where someone has the funniest or most unusual story, or even the strangest, or a right to boast. But it doesn't have to be the same person every single time. Yeah, it's interesting for a while, but I've realized that it's just repeating stories, over and over again. A constant need to trump everyone. If it's not a repeated story, it's someone's amazing reaction to a repeated story. After a while it just starts to get old. I try very hard not to be like that. And I know I'm not perfect. But when it's every other statement in every conversation, it just starts to get really old.
I've also realized that good and/or amazingly close friends have the tendency of telling their equally good friends what's going on, good *and* bad. There have been a few instances where I'm completely in the dark when it comes to the bad, and it frustrates me. Maybe they didn't need to talk. That's fine. I'm not particularly open about everything, I know that for a fact. But there comes a point where it's really prudent to actually tell others what's going on.
I know I've changed as a person. At least a little bit.
One very good part about this year is that I have a person. A friendship that got its start last year, but really changed and developed throughout the course of this year, particularly these past couple of weeks. To quote Grey's Anatomy,
"She's my person. If I killed someone, she's who I would call to drag the corpse across the floor."
Am I their person? Maybe I'm one of them, or at least a particularly good friend. But I know there's someone who I consider to be my person, someone who's first on my list of people to call when things start going wrong.
And it's not to say that anyone else who falls under the category of very good friends means any less, or that I wouldn't call them. I've always had an order in my head of my friends. That's just how I am. It tends to alter fairly consistently, but over the course of this year it's changed a bit.
There are four people from high school I still keep in touch with, two groups of two each. These are four people I will always keep in touch with forever. They include Megan, Kristina, Sandy and Rachel T. I'm a little closer to Sandy and Rachel T along the lines of personality and numerous shared interests. Yet I'm still close to Megan and Kristina in different ways. I've known all four since the eighth grade, which is the longest amount of time I've managed to maintain close friendships. That fact alone tends to add something to the friendships.
There are three people from college who I consider good friends. People that I have things in common with, and will (in one case do) keep in touch with. Melissa, Larisa and Chelsea. We've each got a few things in common and have some particularly amusing memories, especially from last year when all three were on campus. We spent pretty much all of last year together, which will always mean something, and I've lived with Melissa and Larisa this year (and will again senior year).
But as of this year there are two people at this school who fall under the same category as my highschool friends. Sarah and Rachel V. I relate to them in very similar ways, and our little trio is almost identical to my friendships with Rachel T and Sandy (the similarity in the names amuses me a lot). Sometimes there just aren't words. I've spent almost all of my free time with them this year, and a majority of my very happy memories come from the things we've done together. It's become something that's always going to be there for me to look back on, those are my happy memories for days that maybe aren't so glorious. They are my people on this campus. [is one of them my person? Perhaps...]
I'm already excited for next year. It's going to be a happy year. Stressful, yes, but I know there are going to be several good parts to it. Particularly after the way this year has gone.
Those are just some things that have been bouncing around in my mind for a while, particularly throughout this afternoon.
I remember this time last year, when I found out that I was failing chem and life exploded in all of the wrong ways at once. I once read a quote, I don't remember where, that said things fall apart so better things can fall together. And that is completely true right now. This year would not have fallen together the way it did if last year didn't fall apart the way it did, when it did. It kind of amazes me how well everything fell together over this school year. It's an amazing thing to know that there is nowhere else I could be right now that would fit me better than here, there is no one else that I could have met who would have meant this much to me and there is nothing else I could be doing that would fit me any better than this does now.
I'm beginning to think that college is going to be the best four years of my life. Highschool was ok. This is becoming much better very quickly.
