how to lose a roomate in ten minutes

plotting. mwa hahaha. *giggles*
*Put a banana under their mattress. When it starts rotting and smelling, feign ignorance and suggest looking in all the wrong places.
*Use their trash can.
*Finish their shampoo/nail polish remover/whatever and claim you thought it was yours when they notice.
*Eat all of their food. Put the wrappers and empty boxes back.
*Choose to defrost the freezer randomly when they're not around. Take out their food and let it go bad. Put it back in when done.
*If others call/IM them when gone, start an incredibly awkward conversation with the person.
*Wear their jewelry or clothes without asking.
*Put their DVDs in the wrong cases. All of them.
*Explode something in their microwave and don't clean it up.
*Buy an exercise ball and bounce on it all day while staring at the wall and acknowledging nothing.
*Start using their perfume. While they're in the same room.
*Turn the lights on when you get up for your 745 class and they have all day to sleep in.
*Sing along to any instrumental song *badly* allll day. The same song. And very, very loudly.
*Buy the worst smelling candle you can find and burn it for a solid week.
*Play O Fortuna and sing along with the latin words loudly and badly when you don't even speak Latin.
*Have very loud and repetitive phone conversations at one AM.
*Start using their computer at random. When yours is working and across the room. And they're standing right there.

As I think of more I'll add them.
And a word of advice:
DO NOT write on a friend's wall over Christmas break "It's great to have a break from my crazy roomate!" when that friend goes to Wartburg and there's a chance your roomate (alias ME) will see it.
Yeah. It's not exactly the friendliest of things to do. And that's putting it mildly.
I FREAKING CANNOT WAIT TO HAVE THAT SUITE NEXT YEAR WITH PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY LIKE ME. EVEN IF IT ENDS UP NOT BEING A SUITE. I DON'T CARE!!! JUST TO BE AWAY FROM THIS...
How idiotic can you get!?!?